


Of One Heart and Mind

by lebedeinetraume



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Shell Shock, world war II verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lebedeinetraume/pseuds/lebedeinetraume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the battle for Europe wages on, Steve Rogers is having trouble trying to cope with nightmares and the one person he fears letting down is the one person he wants to open up to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of One Heart and Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for my friend who had requested a story to be written about Steve getting emotional over Bucky's heartbeat.

Sometimes it just wasn't easy being the hero. With everyone looking up to him, the icon of America and the hope of many nations there wasn't room for error, and when people weren't expecting him to drop into Berlin and end the war, there were those constantly seeking his death. Day after day Steve wasn't allowed to be that little punk kid from Brooklyn, no... those days were long gone. Today and the next he had to be Captain America, _courageous_ , _daring_ , and _fearless_. It didn't matter how exhausting it all was on the mind, it was a constant go-go-go, past the front and on to victory. Serum or not though, he was still just a man with a soul.

"Steve? What's the matter?" came the sleepy voice of Bucky.

"I, I didn't realize that you were awake," replied Steve in a sheepish tone and he looked apologetically at Bucky from across the small room, though he had no idea why he felt that way.

"Doesn't answer my question." Bucky sat up and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "What's eating you? And why are you in the corner?"

Steve pressed his lips together in silent protest. He had to stay strong for Bucky. After all those years of Bucky looking after him, it was Steve's turn to lend a helping hand, to punch those bad guys who were getting the best of him. He couldn't falter from this now, not with what Bucky had been through as a prisoner of Hydra. How could he let Bucky down like this and tell him that he was growing weary of the torment the night brought him and how sometimes turning on a light made his heart jump into his throat or even the racking of a weapon made his blood run cold?

"Steve?"

A blanket fell around his shoulders and Steve jerked back, smacking his head against the wall. A hand slipped behind his head and with the comfort brought on by years of experience, began to soothe the hurt away and Steve relaxed.

"Sorry man, didn't mean to scare you like that," Bucky apologized as he sat next to him, still rubbing the back of Steve's head. "When you didn't answer I got worried, so I came over."

A shivering broke out and Steve folded his arms across his stomach. "I'm fine," he grumbled, though comforted not only by the blanket but his friend being so close to him.

"No you're not. I know fine and that's not the face that says 'fine'." Bucky sighed and let his hand slip down to Steve's neck, which he gently massaged. "You don't have to tell me, but don't shut me out, please."

"I have to be strong."

"Says who?"

"Everyone. Captain America has to be strong, always."

"No, not everyone." Bucky slipped his hand around Steve's neck and brushed his thumb lightly against the pulse point, knowing how much it always calmed Steve. With his other hand he lifted Steve's chin and turned it so they were gazing into one another's eyes. "No, Steve. I don't think you always have to be strong. It's okay to not be."

"I don't want to let you down, Buck."

A look of honest surprise filled Bucky's gentle blue eyes and he caressed that pulse point just a bit more, watching as Steve's eyes fluttered. "Steve, how could you ever let me down? I would love you just as much if you were back at home on permanent 4F and still that scrawny kid. I've always cared about you, Steve, always watched your back. Don't you remember? You don't have to go through this alone."

He placed his hand over Steve's heart and smiled a little. "I'm always with you here, even if I am not here physically. Whatever is troubling you, let me ease that suffering."

"I, I don't want to burden you. You had to look after me for so long I just want to be strong for you now."

"You'll never be a burden to me." Bucky grinned at Steve and kissed his forehead. "You're stuck with me until the end of the line. And besides..." His tone softened to a weak whisper lined with sadness. "Not everyone can be strong all the time, not even me. We're only human, Steve. We're not machines. Sometimes the only way to drown out that constant machine gun fire in your head is to simply let go."

Steve's brow furrowed in confusion and he slowly began to sit up. More than anything he wanted to hold out for a bit longer to show Bucky that he was strong, because something was bothering Bucky as well and he just didn't want that for him. Those eyes though, the ones filling with tears of fear and frustration, also shone a love that was nothing but understanding of what Steve was going through.

"You don't have to be strong all of the time. Let me help you."

Steve turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes shut. His heart beat painfully against his chest and all he wanted to do was rid himself of that and so he scooted onto Bucky's lap, curling up against him as much as he could. Arms quickly enveloped him and wrapped him in the blanket. Bucky's lips pressed against the side of his nose, easing away his troubles. His shivering remained, that is, until Bucky shifted him in a way that allowed Steve's head to be guided to his chest where the gentle beating of his heart could be heard.

"Just hold me, Buck."

An adoring smile crossed Bucky's lips and he stroked Steve's cheek as he whispered, "Forever, I promise."


End file.
